Forgiveness and Betrayal
by IluvMarkSalling
Summary: Rachel reflects on her relationship with Charlie, and tries to gain her forgiveness, all with the help of alcohol. Set after season 1.


**A/N: I don't know why this idea came to me, but it did. Read away, and let me know what you think. **

_"Don't talk to me ever again... I hate you."_

Charlie's earlier words stung and burned in her mind as they played over and over again. The dead look in her eyes as she stared at her made Rachel shudder, and she couldn't get the image out of her head. How could she let things get so far that Charlie hated her? There was a time when Charlie idolised her, and wanted to be around her all the time.

As Rachel took another swig from the bottle, she thought of her relationship with Charlie. They'd had their ups and downs since reuniting, that was for sure, but they both loved each other, and even when they were arguing, despite the enormous amount of stubbornness between them, one of them would always give in and make things right.

She could remember one day, a few days since echo base was raided by the Humvees that they had been arguing...

_"Where the hell were you?" Rachel demanded. Charlie looked taken aback by her mother's sudden anger._

_"I was getting water," Charlie said, holding up the bottle of slightly murky water she had just filled up at the nearby river._

_"You didn't tell me. I woke up and you were gone. No one knew where you had went. Do you have any idea how scared I was?"_

_"Sorry," Charlie said, sounding nonchalant._

_"I want you in my sight at all times," Rachel continued._

_"Hold on. Look, I'll tell you where I'm going next time, but you can't keep me on a leash like this!"_

_"I can do whatever I choose. In case you've forgotten, I'm the mom here."_

_"In case_ you've_ forgotten, I'm an adult. I'll do what I please."_

_"An adult? Charlie, you're barely twenty. Based on how naïve you are, younger. What would've happened if you had been snatched by bandits, or militia? No one would have known you were gone."_

_"I said I'm sorry! What more do you want?"_

_"I want you to stay where I can see you. I'm not going to lose you."_

_"What happened to Danny was tragic, but it was in battle. For the love of God, we're camping in the woods! Going to a river just beyond the trees isn't going to kill me!_

_I'm not twelve years old anymore. You can't tell me what to do."_

_"Is that so?" Rachel challenged._

_"Yes, _'that's so'_," Charlie replied, not backing down from her mother's glare, a look that eight years previously would have had her cowering._

_By now they were shouting at each other, staring in a battle of wills, and the other rebels were so very uncomfortable, trying desperately to seem busy while they listened intently to the argument._

_"I think I'm going to go for a walk," Charlie said, trying to push her mother's buttons. "_By myself_."_

_"Do not disobey me, Charlotte," Rachel spoke slowly, in a dangerous, low tone. She watched her daughter for any signs of flinching at her full name being used. She only called Charlie Charlotte when she was angry, and because of that, it usually made Charlie show some kind of fear, but as she stared at Charlie, there was nothing._

_Charlie slowly turned, and began to walk away, while the rebels surreptitiously watched, horribly curious to see the outcome._

_"Charlotte! Get back here!"_

_Charlie kept on walking, leaving Rachel fuming._

_"I'll talk to her," Miles said, hurrying after his niece._

_The two women had avoided each other for the rest of the day, waiting for the other to admit defeat. When neither one did, Rachel decided to go to bed, and tackle the issue in the morning._

_Rachel was on the cusp of sleep, when she felt Charlie cuddle up to her. The nights were cold, Rachel and Charlie usually huddled together, but Rachel hadn't planned on seeing Charlie that night, all things considered._

_"I'm sorry," Charlie murmured. "You're just trying to keep me safe. I just don't take well to being told what to do... I'll work on it."_

_Rachel wrapped her arms around Charlie's slender body and rested her chin on top of her head, relishing one of the few moments her fiery, stubborn girl would ever admit to being wrong, even in part._

_"I shouldn't have yelled at you," she told her daughter. "I guess I'm a little rusty at this parenting thing... and I guess you're right... You are -sort of- an adult. I'll try to respect that. It's going to take some getting used to."_

_"I love you."_

_Rachel smiled and kissed Charlie's head. "I love you too, baby."_

_There was a long pause between them, and Charlie had begun to settle into sleep, when she heard her mother's voice in her ear._

_"But Charlotte, if you disobey me like that again, you won't like what happens."_

_Charlie flinched, and Rachel grinned._

Rachel had hated the feeling she got during that fight, but she would take that a hundred times more if it meant she didn't have to endure Charlie's current contempt for her. She could take Charlie yelling at her, but the cold look in her baby's beautiful blue eyes was like a knife to the chest. The silence she was treated with, and the emotionless tone that was used with the few words Charlie granted her... she'd rather be dead than see her daughter like this. Her sweet, loving, compassionate daughter.

"You're being too hard on yourself," Miles said, watching Rachel sit alone at her father's kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey. "Nora's death kills me, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't pull the trigger. Deep down, Charlie knows that, but you've hurt her, and this is an excuse to be mad at you. Make her talk to you."

"Just leave me alone, Miles." Rachel knew his surprising insight was valuable, and she planned on taking his advice, but she couldn't look into her daughter's eyes until she was good and liquored up. Miles sighed, and walked away.

After a few more swigs the bottle was empty, and Rachel was very drunk, and feeling quite happy. She had always been a happy drunk. Clingy too. Under normal circumstances, that situation made for a bad time to talk to her child, but she was at a loss of what else to do.

Swaying a little, Rachel made her way up the stairs to the bedroom Charlie was staying in.

"There's my little Char-char," Rachel slurred, stumbling into Charlie's room, where the young woman was reading a book. Charlie looked up in confusion, and took in her mother's form with disbelief.

"Are you drunk?"

"Just a little," Rachel admitted. "I needed a little something so I could talk to you."

Charlie didn't know how to react to her drunk mother, never having been confronted with such. Furthermore, she had been enjoying her evening, and talking to Rachel didn't improve it.

Charlie watched wearily as her mom made her way over to the bed, and lounged upon it. Rachel stared at her with a loving gaze that made Charlie uncomfortable, and began caressing her face, in an action that sent uncomfortable to new levels.

"Mom?"

"You're so beautiful," Rachel said, patting Charlie's cheek. "I can't believe how beautiful you are. My grown up baby girl. Why do you hate me? Everyone hates me."

"Dear God," Charlie muttered under her breath. "You need to go sleep this off." Charlie attempted to push Rachel away.

"No! I want you to love me again. I'm not leaving until you do."

Charlie groaned and rubbed her face.

"Mom, I do love you, I just am struggling with some of the decisions you've made."

"I'm a horrible person," Rachel moaned, dropping her head onto Charlie's lap.

"No... Come on... Don't say that," Charlie said unconvincingly, her hands hovering over Rachel, thinking she should probably comfort her, but at the same time, being angry enough to not care.

"I have made so many mistakes with you. I wish I could go back in time," Rachel said, sitting up and looking into Charlie's eyes sincerely.

"Why don't we get you to bed?" Charlie suggested. She really didn't want to talk with her mom after what she did to Nora. In fact, she hadn't talked to her more than a few words if necessary since they left the tower.

"I wanna stay here with you."

Charlie managed to suppress a string of obscenities, and hoped if she ignored Rachel, she'd give up and go away.

Charlie tried to go back to her book, only to feel Rachel petting her head like a dog.

"I love your hair. It's so soft, and bouncy."

Charlie couldn't help but laugh, despite being miserable that her night had been ruined. "You are so drunk."

"I'm not that drunk, I just love you so much."

Charlie sighed. "I love you too," she admitted. "but I really need time to my self right now."

Rachel, in her drunken state, finally got the message, and disappointment filled her eyes.

"Okay," she said dejectedly. "I think I'll just go to bed."

As Rachel left, Charlie felt horrible. She so badly wanted things with her and her mom to be good again, but Rachel had really hurt her, and Charlie couldn't ignore that.

After some deliberation, Charlie knew what to do.

The young woman walked down the hall, and into Rachel's room. She could hear her mother crying softly as she crawled into the bed, and wrapped her arms around her. Rachel's breath hitched, and she hugged Charlie tightly. No words needed to be said.

Charlie would leave the next night. She had known that since they had gotten to her grandfather's house in Texas. Only now, the intention wasn't to leave Rachel. She had to do this for herself. She would be gone a few weeks, and when she returned, things with her and Rachel would be better; but Rachel only needed to know the latter part of that. Her leaving would break her mother's heart, and she knew that. Despite everything she had done, Rachel deserved one night of happiness before Charlie would go.

So Charlie lied there and let her mom press tender kisses to her head. She let Rachel talk to her sweetly, and call her baby, because she knew that in the morning when she walked away from the house, she would hurt Rachel more than Rachel had ever hurt her, and she would never be able to be angry about her mom leaving again. She just hoped that Rachel would forgive her. After all, she was her little Char-Char.

**A/N: What do you think? Let me know.**


End file.
